Friday, October 23, 2009

Trapped

I found this blog through The Naked Redhead's blog where each week there is a new writing assignment given out to anyone wishing to participate.  There hasn't been an update since mid-September, and I haven't ever contributed, but I decided to take a stab at the most recent assignment.  Details of the assignment can be found here.  Here is my attempt at Writing Assignment #9: Trapped.




The fabric around his neck felt as though it was being pulled tighter and tighter with each breath he took. Two beads of sweat trickled down the back of his neck and moistened the fabric, making him even more conscious of its feel upon his skin. Despite the hush of the room, he could hear a roar of rushing blood in his ears. Eyes dilating in a rush of adrenaline, he looked to his side to see the closest exit barred by a burly man’s body. He looks at the closed door at the far end of the room and thinks that it will cause too much disturbance if he were to run towards it. He shifts his weight from his right foot to his left foot and then back again.

“Are you alright?” asks a voice on his left.

“I think I’m going to piss my pants,” he replies under his breath, but the body standing next to him claps him on the back and laughs conspiratorially.

A man with steely gray hair approaches him and asks, “Are you ready?” but all he can manage is to swallow loudly. His breath is coming faster and faster, and the hush of the room is weighing on his chest with such force it is effortful to stand.

But then the large door at the end of the room opens. A lavishly dressed woman walks through it, and she smiles at the man standing before her. She walks toward him, and the oppression that he was feeling dissipates in her smile. She reaches him, and takes his hand. Together, they stand before the man with the steely gray hair.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...”

2 comments:

Unseen Rajasthan said...

Nice post and nice shot !! Thanks for sharing..Unseen Rajasthan

Sara said...

Melissa -- This is so wonderful! You got me...totally and I loved it:~)

The way you described how this man felt was so real that I found my heart beating faster.

At first I thought he was in some kind stripper club so the ending really gave a surprise.

You should write more...this is really, really GOOD:~)