Image from Audrey Hepburn Complex
Do you ever have that feeling when you wake up that it's going to be a craptacular kind of day? I have those sometimes. Usually May 22nd is an automatic bad day from the moment I open my eyes til the moment I fall asleep. But this time it really wasn't. And the more I think about how I should have been upset all day long, the more May 23rd is turning out to be an automatic bad day! Nah, not true. I think I'm just feeling guilty for not feeling as sad as I should, or have always felt in the past. Someone said today that it felt like yesterday that my father died. Nope. False. It feels like seventeen excruciatingly long years. It feels like a long list that includes winning Miss Shawville Fair, showing in 4H, learning to drive, getting a driver's license, high school graduation, first boyfriend, first day at college, winning college judging competitions, being a 4H president, being a student union president, completing a farm project, first job, becoming a teacher, buying my first car on my own, being a good artist, moving home, moving on. Every day is another bulletin point on that long list. And I know that there are still some major milestones left to come. Some days I'm sad. Some days I'm really mad. But mostly, I keep moving on.